CRICETERS CLUB OF N. SW, SHEFFIELD TEAM DINNER?
BELD AT SYDNEY ON 18TH AUGUST, 196.2
Speech by the PilMe Minister, the Rt. Hon. R. G. Menzig-s
Sir, I think it is quite ridiculous for me to
interrupt a programme so full of gaiety, I am entirely
willing to resign instantly in favour of Jim Burke. ( Laughter)
And not politically. ( Laughter) But I've been enjoying this.
As a matter of fact, when he said that the lightmeter
showed zero minus 05 or whatever it was, it reminded me
at once of a time when I was in England and, oddly enough,
went to a Test Match ( Laughter). I arrived in London. I told
my wife and my daughter who were with me that they could enjoy
themselves in their own fashion in London, but I was off to
Trent Bridge the following day and I stayed en route at
Coventry and the next morning I was driven up to Trent Bridge,
This was the time when Lindsay Hassett made a century, but
that was before I arrived and Alec Bedser was having a wonderful
time. And all the way from Coventry to Nottingham, the
drizzle came down; the little bits of fog hung on the bushes
on the side of the road, When I arrived at Trent Bridge at
about 11 it was so dark you could hardly see the other side
of the street. I was received very courteously by the
President of the Club who was the Duke of Portland whom I have
known in his earlier manifestation before he became the Duke
and those of you who remember the present Duke of Portland will
know that he is a stage Duke you know, he says exactly what
you would expect a stage Duke to say ( Laughter).
He couldn't have been more civil. He took me upstairs
into a room and there was a little balcony outside it looking
across the ground and he said to me, knowing that I was an
Australian, " Would you like a drink, what?" and I said, " 1Wells
not normally at this time of the morning, but what did you
say Sir?" and he said, " Would you like a drink?" " Well," i I
said " on the whole, I think I will." ( Laughter) He accommodated
me wih a drink and then I went and peered over the little
balcony. You could tell that there were people there on the
other side, but there was no distinction of faces or anything
of that kind. There were two melancholy-looking piles of
sawdust; it was as dark as a dog's mouth you see. And at a
quarter past eleven, refreshed suitably I said, " You krow
Duke, I seem to be unlucky because I did hope to see tht; play
today and on Monday and I have no hope. He said, " What do
you mean, what?" ( Laughter) " Well " 1 1 said, " when do you
expect play to begin?" He said " ialf past eleven, what",
you see, And I said to him, " It~ s twenty past eleven and yo0u
really can't see the other side of the ground." I said, " In 1
Australia, there wold~ be any play under these conditions,"
and he looked at me with ducal contempt ( Laughter) and said,
" My dear fellow, if we didntt play in this light at Trent
Bridge, we'd never play at all." ( Laughter) And sure enough,
at 11, 0 out came the English fieldsmen and disappeared into
the murk ( laughter) and out came a procession of Australian
batsmen and they disappeared into the murk ( Laughter). They
reappeared pretty quickly. I always remember poor Neil Harvey,
that lovely batsman, just doing one of those tucking-it-roundthe-
corner shots, and when he peered through the murk, he found
he had been caught ( Laughter) so he was off and by the end of
the day the match was a mess. Soafter all this zero minus, this
is a story entirely for Australian consumption. so0o@ s00.
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I was also very amused P11 come to the real. topic
in a moment because I made a note of it here, Oh yes
somebod. y was talking about great feats of batzam-nship and Ca
reference was made by you, Sir, to Dainty Ironmonger, A
fine bowler, but a batsman who, in my opinion, and I am
speaking as a Victorian now, has always been gravely underrated.
( Laughter) Because in the great year when Larwood
was wreaking death and destruction and Dainty Ironmonger who
was batting at the Richmond end came into bat my impression
was that he shut his eyes and dealt a stout blow at the first
ball that came along and it bent the pickets at cover point,
And this was a marvellous stroke, It was greatly received by
the populace and, many years afterwards, I am sitting up with
the great in the Committee box at the Melbourne ground, than
which there is nothing more lordly ( Laughter) and I looked down
and I savw Dainty Ironmonger I was going to say talking to
Jack Ellis, but you won't misunderstand me Jack was talking
to him ( Laughter) and I thought thiO ought to be fun, so I
went over and butted in, and this interrupted Jack ( Laughter)
who because he was a friend of rmine and for other reasons,
fell silent for a minute, This let me get in and I said,
" Dainty, I have always wanted to ask you, when you struck that
magnificent cover-drive off Larwxood at the M. C. C. that day
you remember it?" and he said, " Too right" ( Laughter) I said,
" Now I want to ask you, as man to man, when you hit the ball,
were your eyes shut?" and he looked at me and said, " Too
right" ( Laughter), Then of course, Jack resumed the conversation
( Laugnter), A very interesting piece of cricket hist" ory
I think. Anyhow, my job tonight is to propose the Toast of the
Team and this is very difficult for a decent, devout, Victorian
( Laughter) to have to come along here. It becomes so painfully
repetitive, to congratulate New South Wales on winning the
Sheffield Shield, once more, once more, once more, And I
want to say that, although I am a great admirer of the team, I
don't think you need excite yourselves unduly. There's one
simple reason why you win the Shield, not entirely fair, but
it's quite simple,, You chaps win the Shield because you've
got practically the entire Australian Eleven playing ( Laughter).
Well, of course down in Victoria, we don't care for this.
( Laughter) No that we would replace you in the Australian
Eleven not for a moment, but we do occasionally pray for
something to happen that will enable an Australian Eleven to
have all its stars, or most of them, from Victoria and t'ien
the Victorian Cricket Association will snap out of it and
give a dinner for the Sheffield Shield team ( Laughter) to
congratulate them on victory. And if I am still alive, which
seems improbable ( Laughter), I'll be there.
You know, it's a very good thing for Australian cricket
that there is such a place as New South Wales. That's quite
true, Politically, I wouldn't generalise on that matter,,
There have been times in my political life when I though
I could live without Sydney or die with it, ( Laughter) Thut
in cricket, you have in this State made the most tremendous
contribution to what I will alwrays maintain is the greatest
game in the world, ( Hear, hear) ( Applause). There are
certain mechanical reasons for it, perhaps. Would you mind
if I suggested one or two of them to you?
I have always thought as the grand final of the
football in Melbourne is conducted on a mud-patch, which not
uncommonly happens, well on in September, and the following
day they bring out the harrows and they run the harrows over
it and they do a little top-dressing, they roll it out and
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pray for rain and if it doesnit r'ain they water the pitch
y7ou know. And after a whi: le, people are playing cricket on
it0 But in Victoria it's quite common when the first Sheffield
Shield match comes along for interstate batsmen to be batting
having had perhaps one innings in a Club match, whereas over
here by the end of September, the cricket bats are out I
see the boys on the spare allotments, I see t-hem, in Moore Park
and therefore you are always able to beat the season as we see
the season in the South. Now I am not complaining about that,
This is very good because it means from the point of vie, i of
Australia you have a certain number of distinguished cricketers
who are in form and in practice. Now that's a very good thing,~
The second thing that I have always complained a
little about is when people have said to me, " You know, the
Victorian batsmen they are very good, they are very good.
You know, useful fellows ' to have in a side but a bit stodgy.
I have even heard Jim Buirke say that ( Laughter) " tA bit stodgy,
you know, a bit defensive" and I have frequently thought to
myself, having looked at a number of crickiet grounds here, that
on the whole yours tend to be a little smaller than ours and
that is partly because of our particular game of football as
compared with rugby, And I think that psychologically, this
has something to do with it because if he boundary doesnt
look quite so far away a fellow will have a go at it, but
in the vast arenas of 4ctoria, he looks through the murk of
the early Victorian summer and he says, " Well, if I can just
push that past point, we might get a couple." Isn't that right,
Arthur? But of course these creatures they just say phtttl
and before you can say " knife" it has hit the pickets and it
is practically self-fielded because it is so near the pitch,
Anyhow that's all just a bigoted, bitter, Victorian point of
view, ILaughter) All I know is that it isn't for nothing that you
have the Sheffield Shield, It certainly isn't because in
these last years, in most of which critical onlookers have been
saying, " Ah cricket is not what it used to be-' you know, I
hate those iellows, There never was anybody as good as so and
so and so and so, All nonsense. To me there was never
anybody as good as the fellow who is out there now ( Hear,
hear) performing. Each man I am looking at and enjoying, and
I hate these bumbling commentators who live in the past,
It's a hateful thing, But here, year after year, you have
been producing and showing the very backbone of Austral: an
international cricket and I cculd stand up here for an hour
and talk about eight or ten of them and never say a word that
anybody would disagree with. But in particular, if you will
allow me to say so, you have been able to make a remarkable
contribution, int~ rnatioiially, to cricket because you have
produced two people Ian Craig and Richie Benaud, whose place
in cricket history 1S9 I believe, quite assured. ( Hear hear)
( Applause) IItave been a politico for a long time and f have
had defeats and victories and large majorities and small
majorities but if there is one thing that I have learned it is
that the first condition of ultimate success is to produce a
sense of morale in your team. ( Hear, hear)
And if Ian will allow me to say so, this is his
eat contribution to modern cricket history in Australia
Applause) as a field captain, as a man who, in some mysterious
fashion almost magical fashion, always takes the offensive.
I've sat up in my lordly box more than once and have watched
him conduct a manoeuvre on the field so &; vastatingly good,
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so aggressively brilliant that even before it succeeded
knew that it would, This is something quite remarkable
and it is made all the more remarkable because, unhappily,
the cricket of our great opponent L. nd I hope always our
great opponent on the cricket field has tended a little
to being defensive, Well, we are not to be beaten,, And it
is a bad thing to start off any contest by saying " Well
I'm not going to be beaten."' It is so important io staR
off by saying, " We are going to win" and this is the difference
between defensive tactics and aggressive3 tactics and aggressive
tactics have paid off,
And Richie Benaud occupies a place in the history
of cricket not only as a New South Welshman not only fur
this team with such success, but in the history of international
cricket which I really believe is unique in my time, and if
it is unique in my time, it is tuique because he has always
had the spirit of resourceful at-tack studying every batsman
who comes in, I saw him get Trevor Lailey caught by himself
off square leg one day by a masterly piece of psychology,
Because the moment Bailey came in I happened to say to the
fellow next to meI " You know, Bailey rather likes to tickle
one quietly round the corner to get off the mark and the
bowling won't help this and he'll get a bit fed up with it,"
This chap came in, flanked himself at short square leg, the
bowling went on and of course, finally even Baileyts
patience was exhausted ( Laughter) and up she went and there
we were, Can't be very easy to be the captain of a cricket
team. I've been the captain of a political team for a long
time and believe me, it s not child's play ( Laughter) though
everybody else thinks it is ( Laughter) and of course, that'S
true about the captain of a team, Everybody understands it,
on the whole, rather better than he does but, at the same
time, looking back over these years, I can't imagine a more
just result than the one that we've been able to produce to
you, the celebration of this enormous period of years of
success, I would just like to say I am very glad to see
here tonight Sid Smith. I am sorry he's been on the sick
list. I sit up with him whererer I manage to arrive at the
Sydney Cricket Ground, tear myself away from the embraces
of the Trustees. I like to sit tip with Sid Smith and t-ommy
Howard and listen to the old and bold telling me about these
matters and as a rulu, at the other end of the Committee
box, there Is a man called Webb. You know the chap Webb?
He's a Q0C. ( Laughter) An argumentative character if ever
there was one, If somebody does a straight drive and it
runs under the sight boards he's quite prepared to say, " Now,
if it ran under the sight board, but it didn't actually reach
the pickets, would it be a four'?" ( Laughter) And he will
argue about that for the next hour. I always refuse to
argue with him0 I wonder if I could just, before I concj~ ude,
say this to you, There's an intimate association between
cricket and the law,, I am reminded of this by Webb? Q40Co
I have had one or two very curious experiences in which my
devotion to cricket has come not amiss. I remember many
years ago when the late Sir Leo Cussen who was a very
distinguished Supreme Court Judge in Victoria and who was
President-of the M. COCO in Melbourne was down at a Test
Match and I wanted to be there too, but a solicitor in the
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country had taken an Opinion from me abcout four weeks before,
about some problem of a by-1aw relating to bees and how far
they were to be allowed to fly ( 1Leughter) or one of those
things that country municipalities love so much and I had
written an Opinion and it said that in my opinion the by-law
was invalid and that the conviction of his client was wrong
and that he ought to apply for an Orde-? to Review. An
application for an Order to Review at that time, I think, in
Victoria had to be made within thirty days of conviction and
my country solicitor forgot about it. It was getting near
Christmas and he forgot about the clock until the very last
moment when he suddenly sent down all the affidavits to his
Melbourne agent and said h" You must get Mr. Menzies to apply
for an Order Nisi," 1 and ?; is was the last day. Sir Leo
Cussen beamed at me and said, " I seem to remember, Menzies
therets a rule that if Counsel can assure the Judge that all
the papers are cr, the file and mentions the case, the application
will be treated as in time and can then be adjourned
for a fortnight, is that right?" and I said, " Yes Your
Honour, that is precisely the position as I understand it,"
" Very well he said " I accept your assurance. You. mention
the case, f adjourn It for a fortnight. Get my Associate to
make a note of the name, will you if it occurs to you, In
the meantime, isn't this chap bowling well." ( Laughter)
I always remember that with great pleasure. And could I,
without wearying you, tell you another?
We had a County Court Judge in Victoria who
had actually played for Australia, rather fleetingly, many
years before, He wasn't a very good lawyer. He was a
charming man. He had a rather pedantic attachment to what
he was pleased to regard as good English and therefore he
was occasionally difficult, You had one like that here in
New South Wales. ( Laughter) But many years ago in my
County Court days, I knew that this Judge was devoted to
cricketl c'nooks it all came back to my mind the other day
when I was dandling the White Leghorns down at the Exhibitionand
roses, and it was very important to know what a judgets
-prejudices are, i~ f I may say so, before you appear before
hi: m, So down from the country came a case for me; there
was an argument about a contract and my solicitor produced
a client who was as dull as a man could comfortably be.
( Laughter) You couldn't get a consecutive statement out of
him on anything. He was a decent chap. I've no doubt that,
basically, he had the right ideas but you just couldn'~ t et
anything sensible from him and it was very troublesome,
We went up into court, I knowing as little
about my client's case as possible, in consequence and the
plaintiff Counsel opened hiis case and he called thirteen
witnesses and tUhey were good. I cross-examined them with
all the skill that I could command, but on the whole I thought
they did rather well, and at the end of the day when all
their witnesses had been called I had no witness except
this derelict client of mine ( Laughter) the Judge, the
ex-cricketer, said to me, " Well, Mr. Menzies, you know, I
dontt want to discourage you but I am very impressed by the
case for the plaintiff." 1 Ana I said, with that innocent
air that I am thankful to say always characterised me
( Laughter), I said, " Your Honour I appreciate that, but
I beg of you, Sir, suspend your judgment until you have
heard my case. I am certain, Sir4 that you will be impressed
by it," And he said, " Certainly and we adjourned, Then
I said to the solicitor, " Bring that fellow down to my
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chambers again, will YOU" and we had anothier session. I
coul -dn't discovrer what he thought he was talking about, so
finally I proclaimed my usual gambits when I was before thi s
Judge,, I said, " Itccuse me, Mr. So and So "-he came from
the Bullarook Forest or somewhere near Ballarat, you know
I said, " Excuse me, but do you keep fowls?" 1 He said, " What
do you mean?" I said, " Can you tell a White Leghorn from a
Buff Orpington or a Wyandotte?" " O01 no," he said. " The wife
keeps a few chooks but I wouldn't know what they were" I said,
" Forget about the fowls. ( Laughter) Second : Do you grow
roses?" " Oh well," he says. " I don't kniow. The Missus has
got one or two, I thinik,& I said, " Well, could you tell a
Frau Carl from a La Belle France, or whatever it is?" 1 And
he said, " Oh, no, come off it." ( Laughter) I said, " Out with
the roses.'" So, greatly despairing I said to him, " Cricket,
Did you ever play cricket?" He said. " Oh, now youtee talking."
He said, " I played for Ballarat and District against Ivo
. Blights Eleven." I said, 4' 1Ah, wonderful) What, 1882 or something?"
He said, " Yes" I said, " Conference concluded.
Thank you, Take him away. Keep him right overnight." ( Laughter)
Next morning, I opened the case as well as I could,
called my wretched client, who was all over the place and I
finally said, " Well now, witness, I am going to ask you about
the date on which this particular conversation occurred. And
I know His Hcnour appreciates that it is not easy to remember
a date, Now, of course, if I were to ask you to remember the
da~ te on which you played for Ballarat and District against Ivo
Blights Eleven ( L9aughter) naturally that would be differ'ent,,"
And the Judge turned rouna and said, " What's that? Is that
right? Did you play Well, well 11 he said, and hitched
around his chair and for the next hal hour thay exchanged
ideas ( Laughter) about this fast-bowler, and whether that
spinner was really turning the ball, and my fellow turned out
to have made twentysix runs a very admirable innings9Jm
you Inow ( Lau. ghter) and had taken a couple of wickets and
by thLi. time, of course, I had sat down like the cat thai swallowed
the canary. My opponent, very properly, got up to cross-examine,
and the Judge said, " Well, Mr. McGuiness, of course I want to
make it clear that you have a perfect right to cross-examine this
witness. I will be the last man to deny you your rights, but
I think I should tell you before you do that in the whole of my
j udicial caraer I have never been so impressed by a witness
( Laughter) as I have by Mr. So and So." Whfiether it was just or
unjust, I'll never know ( Laughter).
Sir, those two anecdotes are quite irrelevant to
the task of the evening, but really, when I get among my friends
the cricketers who have given me more pleasure than perhaps
any other people in the world in a leisure that is not too
frequent, I become d little reminiscent and a little talkative,
I am indebted to the cricketers of my own time for so much
happiness. I am particularly indebted to this magnificent New
South Wales team which has once more won the Sheffield Shield
and which, as it now stands9 is probably capable of taking on
any international team in the world,, And that's a great performance,
~ hsis a great event and I have loved it and I want
you all to join with me in drinking the health of the team and
in particular, the health of this talented and courageous man,
Richie Benaud, who captained it and who is one of the great
captains in cricket history, ( Hear, hear)