Good morning, and thank you for inviting me to this year's North Melbourne breakfast.
What a day - it's hot in the city, excitement, pulsing with anticipation - when every eye is on the G, when every little boy imagines he is out there flying high for a mark and every man dreams of a football youth part real but mostly imagined.
Millions of women look out at the these towering gods and then as they think of us - their husbands and boyfriends - sigh just a little.
It has been a great competition, but a tough year. Phil Walsh's death united the code in love and respect. It was a tragedy whose horror was both ancient and modern - beyond a nightmare breaking the heart of every fan and every parent.
Adam Goodes. A champion of the game, of his people, a champion for all Australians. It was a moment. As the booing grew, Adam seemed just a man, small, outnumbered, almost alone in the centre of the field. And then he grew, he was not alone. It was as though he held a mirror up to us all, a nation reflected as we looked not at Adam but at ourselves and we said "we're better than that." and we recognised not for the first time that our greatest strength is our diversity and its foundation is respect.
Turning to politics.
The reform of Federation is on the agenda and nobody is less happy with the current state of affairs than our friend from the West Premier Colin Barnett.
The West Australians reckon too many of their GST dollars are coming over East, and they want a bigger share. Well Will Hodgman and Dan Andrews don't agree. Not a lot of sympathy. The other states resist - we subsidised you for years they say, it's our turn now.
Now Western Australia did not become the resources super power it is by waiting for something to happen. They are pioneers - a state full of buccaneering individualists who won't take no for an answer.
So in what has been a mass popular movement, forty thousand Western Australians have said 'I am mad as hell and I am not taking it anymore. If those Victorians are going to get our GST dollars, we may as well go to Melbourne and have the fun of doing the shopping as well.'
As the leader of the party of small business - I salute the visitors.
Bags in both hands West Australians this is the time to shop like a Victorian.
And there's always a nice piece of heritage silverware you could take home too.
Now you may think the action today will all be on the footy field.
And there will be plenty there.
Can the Eagles catch the Hawks - going for their third premiership in a row after making their fourth straight grand final?
But another drama will play out in the stands.
You see facing off today is not just Luke Hodge and Shannon Hurn.
It is two of Australia's great leaders.
Julie Bishop for the Eagles and Jeff Kennett for the Hawks.
Julie's death stare versus Jeff's deafening bellow.
She's been practising it in New York - have you ever seen a more attentive audience in the UN.
It was the only strategy Putin and Obama agreed on – just sit up straight and pay attention to the lady from Perth.
Now Julie's death stare only works if she makes eye contact and of course the Hawks know that she will be sitting in the Olympic Stand. So right from the bounce she will be off - darting around the ground so that just as the Hawks player looks up to take a kick their eyes meet and he stumbles.
Kennett will go in hot pursuit, huffing and puffing, bellowing "Go Hawks, don't look up. She's in the ponsford, no she's not, she's in the great southern."
He can't keep up - too much condition.
Julie's too quick for him, she leaps like jesaulenko. She's as fit and lean and fast as any of the players and in her seven inch Jimmy Choo pumps almost as tall.
Jeff's bellows are getting fainter his Hawks loafers are starting to trip.
And then he gets a break, he sees her.
Jeff has one advantage. He is a local. He knows the G. She's cornered.
Eagles lead by five. The Hawks have the ball, seconds to go - can Jeff stop Julie in time?
And since I am a Swans supporter, here for the game more than the outcome, and showing that I bear no hard feelings for the generous character assessments, showing my government's commitment to fair play and protecting the vulnerable, I am offering Jeff today what may be the decider.
These are the ultimate Julie Bishop death stare reflecting sunglasses.
This is Jeff Kennett's last hope. But I don't think it will be enough.
Go the Eagles!
ENDS.