E & O E - PROOF ONLY
JULES: Well Fifi, as you know, on the Fifi and Jules show we don't muck about. So on the line right now is the Prime Minister of Australia.
FIFI: I won!
JULES: Julia Gillard, to answer your hot questions.
PM: Hello Fifi.
FIFI: Prime Minister Gillard! Welcome back to the show and sorry about the Julia bit. That was a bit informal and disrespectful. Sorry but I did think we could give you a call. How are you?
PM: I am fine, thank you but are you aiming for your child to be our 23 millionth person?
FIFI: I am, Prime Minister. Firstly, before I aim for that, because it's going to be, there's lots of logistics, is there some sort of a reward if it is the 23 millionth?
PM: Well there are some very strict rules. You will have to name the child ‘Twenty-three-million'. You'll have no other choice about the name.
But if you aim there and get there then I'm sure I can knit up a pair of booties and get them across to you.
FIFI: Oh, I would love that! From the Prime Minister, that would be amazing.
JULES: Prime Minister, I don't necessarily want to encourage this because I for one hate crowds.
PM: I don't think Fifi's baby is going to take up that much space.
JULES: I know but the truth is that we are growing. Have we ever considered a one child policy? Is there argument for not having kids?
PM: No, we've never considered such a policy. I think people have to be free to make their own decisions about how many kids.
But 23 million, you've just got to make sure all the infrastructure and all the services are right and that's my job.
FIFI: He's just annoyed because there's a suggestion he might have to help bring up my child. So he's trying to cut back.
JULES: There is a good question here, Prime Minister. Would you actually have the data of the 23 millionth?
If it isn't Fifi for instance, because it's a couple of weeks after her due date, I did wonder, it would be nice to us as a show to provide some sort of prize for the baby.
PM: I'm sure that our ABS people, the people at the Bureau of Statistics, do a lot of tracking of this. So they may well be able to identify the 23 millionth person, the baby or immigrate that takes us to 23 million.
I'm not sure what prize you would get from the Bureau of Statistics. They've probably got some back catalogues of statistics that they've collected in the past they could give away.
FIFI: We could just knock up something on iMac and laminate it. Like just a little certificate.
JULES: The prize cupboard. We've got like a Karise Eden CD.
FIFI: Yeah we've got some mini snack sized Mars bars.
JULES: Prime Minister, I would like with your help to get that data to speak to those people at that official job and for us to just sniff around birthing suites and wait for that one with a catcher's mitt and give them some stickers and an icy cold can of Coke.
PM: I think that would be fantastic but if I can just give you some advice, I'm not sure that a new born baby is going to have that much use for a can of Coke or some baby mars bars.
FIFI: Yeah.
JULES: Fifi's might.
PRESENTER: Thank you Prime Minister, we've already wasted four minutes of your valuable day. Obviously we will get in touch with the ABS. You don't need to do that.
JULES: Really?
PRESENTER: She's got a few other things on.
JULES: Can you just text me that number please?
PM: I'll do my best.
PRESENTER: Thank you Prime Minister.
[ENDS]